Self-love

When I started my weight loss journey over 5 years ago I had a goal to get to 75kgs, then that number changed and I wanted to get to 62kgs.  I never actually achieved that number and while I got to 65kgs and now I've settled at 69-70kgs I believe that while I'm far from perfect I feel like I'm slowly reaching body acceptance and self love.  I don't think it's because of the number on the scale or because of how my body looks, depending on how I stand, sit or lie down I can look worse or better.  I can take a photo of myself with a great angle but at the end of the day I have to be happy with what I see in the mirror.

Instead of zeroing in on the excess skin I have on my stomach and thighs, cellulite, flabby areas, big calves and a deep belly button that I've always been self conscious about I realise that I have a great curvy body to be proud of and to love the good parts as imperfect as they are.  This body has seen me through an awful lot in my life and I am at the point where I am ready to accept my body as it is and stop hating on myself because I haven't reached what I considered in my head to be an ideal body.  

I am learning to love myself.  Not in a narcissistic way, just in a 'I am worthy and enough just as I am' kind of way.  Some reading this might think my excess of body fat, not enough muscle etc etc..isn't inspiring to you, and many of you will find it super inspiring if you are starting out on your weight loss journey.  I have always been honest and candid about my journey, I think that's why this blog and my Facebook page has been so popular.  

I wanted to illustrate that you don't need to reach a perfect body to start loving your body.  I may never achieve what I think a perfect body is, I'm not sure many women could say they think their body is perfect.  Sure I could improve what I already have by losing more body fat and increasing my muscle, am I willing to do it?  I do not know. One day I might wake up and become more committed.  I might decide to spend more time dedicating to a more toned physique but what I know for sure is that it won't bring me more happiness than what I feel right now.  

I have been every different size since I was 16, from a size 6-22NZ (2-18US) and every size in-between and still wasn't happy with the image in the mirror.  At 32 I'm ready to stop worrying so much about the size, I don't want to spend the next 30 years getting hung up about it. What has changed for me now is the relationship I have with myself, as I've gotten older I am getting more comfortable in my skin.  Instead of punishing myself with diets and exercise I WANT to nourish my body with delicious healthy food that makes me feel good, I like to have an occasional treat and a lot of you know I struggle with moderation.  I move my body because it feels good and I like to feel strong.  I am learning to treat myself with respect no matter what size I am.

I think the journey of self love and body acceptance for anyone that deals with it will be on that journey forever.  After all that I've read about self love I don't think you ever reach a place that you think 'I got this', there will always be times that I will swing from feeling amazing to insecure.  The difference now is that I feel gratitude.  I have tremendous gratitude for not only what I have achieved in the last 5 years, losing 40kgs and keeping it off is no easy feat, but that I have changed my life in more ways than I ever thought possible.  

I have started to accept that my body loves to sit at this weight, I think it's my natural set point.  Trying to achieve a lower weight does take a huge amount of extra effort.  I do truly believe that you can be happy with what you have while still moving forward and doing your best with your efforts.  I still have fat days (who doesn't) and I have skinny days because I cannot believe I'm not the size I once was.  For me it's been a really long journey and I feel that it's all about perspective and finding the positives in an imperfect body.

Cauliflower Bake

This is such a yummy side dish or often I'll just have it for lunch!

Ingredients:

• 1/4-1/2 head Cauliflower
• 1/2-1 cup Cream (heavy cream)
• 1/2 cup grated cheddar cheese
• A few almond crackers
• Grated Parmesan
• Salt & Pepper

Directions:

Chop up cauliflower into small florets and place in a pot with the cream.
Turn on the heat and cook for 5-6 minutes or until the cauliflower is cooked, you should be left with cooked cauliflower and the cream will reduce so you will have your sauce. Add in the grated cheddar, salt to taste and freshly cracked pepper, combine well. 

In a motar and pestle crush up a few almond crackers or you could use any grain free crackers and combine with grated Parmesan.  Sprinkle with smoked paprika and place under the grill until to
topping is crispy and browned.

Consistency is key!

It’s been 5 years since I’ve considered grains a part of my diet that I sometimes forget that we are still living in a world where toast or cereal is considered breakfast, a sandwich or panini is lunch, a muffin for a snack and pasta is a side dish to dinner. The effect that gluten and most grains have on my digestive system (and possibly yours) simply doesn’t make it a choice I’m willing to make on a regular basis. 

Instead I focus on what foods make me feel good. On a daily basis I eat eggs, red meat, poultry, fish etc.. good quality high fat dairy, vegetables, berries, nuts, saturated fats and my sanity foods are coffee and dark chocolate. I feel so completely well fed and well nourished that I simply don’t have the desire to eat grains. Sometimes I might have a treat that I wouldn’t include as a regular part of my daily diet but I don’t consider it a “cheat”, I just consider it a choice. I am not someone that can eat highly stimulating foods in moderation so I choose wisely if I’m going to indulge, by no means am I a primal or paleo eating purist.

One of the reasons I fell in love with The Primal Blueprint was the 80/20 principle, to this day I still stick with that, if I notice the balance becoming more 70/30 or 60/40 I know I need to check myself and nip any bad habits in the bud that may have started to slide. This has been key to maintaining my weight loss over the last few years, it’s never been about perfection, it’s always been about consistency.

Rosemary & Pinenut Meatballs with Smokey Pumpkin Sauce

Rosemary & Pinenut Meatballs

Serves 2

Ingredients:

• 250gms GrassFed Beef Mince
• 1 Egg
• 1/4 Finely diced Red Onion
• 1 tsp Dijon Mustard
• 1 Clove Garlic finely grated or diced
• 2 Tablespoons of Toasted Pinenuts
• 2 Tablespoons of Fresh Rosemary finely diced
• 2 teaspoons of Coconut Flour

Instructions:

Place all ingredients in a medium sized bowl and combine well. Roll into balls, this makes 8 large meatballs.

Use a cast iron skillet with 1 Tablespoon Bacon Fat or Lard.

Fry on a medium heat.

Smokey Pumpkin Sauce

Ingredients:

200gms Pumpkin or Winter Squash - de skinned and cubed

500mls Chicken Broth* or Stock

1 Tablespoon Whitestones Smoked Butter

2 Tablespoons Cream

Salt to taste

Instructions:

In a medium sized pot bring your broth or stock to a boil, add the diced pumpkin and cook for 15 minutes, most of the liquid should be absorbed by the pumpkin once it's ready - to the point it would almost boil dry! Watch carefully!

Once cooked add in your smoked butter, cream and salt and blend well with a stick/immersion blender.

*Homemade Chicken Broth will produce a tastier sauce.

Facebook Giveaway!

Would you like to win a one on one chat with me with over Skype to help get you started with Primal?

I don't normally do giveaways so this is my first and I thought what better way to get into the Christmas spirit of giving!

PLEASE DO THIS OVER AT MY FACEBOOK PAGE.
All you need to do to enter the draw ALL of the below:
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*Terms are: One on one session is for 1 hour and to be redeemed in 2014. Applies to anyone anywhere in the world (so long as you have internet & Skype) Competition closes 25th December 2013, winner will be drawn January 1st 2014