Maintaining my weight loss

When I started my journey back in 2008 I had so much drive, so much focus and the absolute desire to shed 40 odd kgs.  So here I am almost 5 years down the track and while I’ve keep the weight off (give or take a few kgs) I will share with you why I think it’s much tougher to keep the weight off, ok I’ll rephrase that, things change and while it may not be tougher it takes a different set of skills.

The beginning of my journey started on October 2008, I had finally decided that I was sick and tired of being sick and tired...overweight, out of shape, unhappy and generally I just felt so unattractive and uncomfortable in my body.  I didn’t feel like it was my body anymore, nor did I feel like the person staring back at me was me, it was as if I had a fat suit on and it didn’t matter what clothing I tried to wear to disguise how large I was or how long my hair got or how well I applied my make up nothing detracted from how I felt emotionally.  When those comments of wow you have  amazing hair were just far to frequent you start to realise that it’s the one thing people will compliment you on because they aren’t going to say how amazing you look because the truth is I didn’t look amazing.  I was smiling on the outside but on the inside I was downright miserable and couldn’t wait to be rid of the extra fat I had acquired, I had let my body define “who” I was.

The first thing that I changed was my diet.  After reading everything I could get my hands on I realised that to lose a substantial amount of weight you need to change the food, 80-90% of your results will come from your diet.  While exercise will help shape your body and make you feel mentally amazing, it’s a pretty poor way to try and lose a LOT of weight.  The old mantra of burn x amount of calories is not going to get you that far – well it didn’t for me.  What’s the best way to work up an appetite? Go for a run!  Simple answer is that high intensity cardio exercise will increase your appetite.  Lifting weights is where it’s at; bodyweight exercise is also very effective.

I dove head first into it and threw out everything in my house that resembled unhealthy and loaded up with what I knew was going to work.  I had done low carb in the past so I had a fair idea of what sort of things I could have but this time is was going to be a far more healthy version of low carb.  In my mind low carb had worked a charm last time but I just hadn’t embraced veggies enough and lived off diet coke.  This time I had the fridge full of fresh veggies, fruit, meat, chicken, eggs, high fat dairy and in the cupboard were a few cans of tomatoes, olive oil, nuts, soda water, herbal teas etc..

It didn’t take long to start dropping the weight and I soon figured out what my sweet spot was for weight loss....Higher fat, moderate protein and low carb.  The weight was dropping off easily a kg a week and kept that momentum for just over a year, the lower in weight I got I would determine that I needed less food and just adjusted accordingly.  I started blogging to keep some accountability as I was the ONLY one at the time I knew of that was doing this “crazy farfetched” style of eating.  People around me thought I was nuts and honestly I just lived like a bit of hermit while my ‘job’ was to lose weight.  I was unemployed for several months as I had just lost my job to a redundancy, it was when the recession first hit and it was a bit of a blessing in disguise.

I was very lucky to have the support of my loving husband who allowed me to focus on losing the weight while trying to come up with a way to start my own business.  It only took one month to decide to start my business altering and repairing clothing with my 2 domestic sewing machines, I had a small sandwich board out the front of our house and during my lunch breaks I would flyer drop.  I started to get a name for myself and plenty of long hours and hard work I can happily say that it’s been almost 5 years on am I’m going stronger than ever, I have 5 industrial sewing machines and a very steady stream of repeat customers, my business is what I would finally call successful.

Initially when I first lost all my weight I think I was just so bombarded with compliments of “OH MY GOD YOU LOOK AMAZING!!!” How can you not be on cloud nine with amazing comments like that?  They lasted about a year and anytime I saw someone I hadn’t seen since I’d lost my weight.  This is a very rewarding part of weight loss, however as time goes on people just get used to you and the comments stop and I guess well you are just normal.  Now don’t get me wrong normal is nice but those compliments are a huge driving force to keeping you strict and after a while you need to find what it is about your “new you” that will keep you maintaining your weight? I can’t answer this question for you personally but I know for myself that while yes I have fluctuated a wee bit, I have kept most of my weight off.  The biggest non vanity reason for that is because of my health, I have suffered with Anxiety, Depression, PCOS, Menieres Disease and all sorts of other issues that didn’t reduce until I lost the weight and ate Primal.  I don’t know if it was the weight loss or the Primal eating that has been the driving force in keeping these health problems at bay but what I do know is that for 6 months while I wasn’t eating very primal and gained 5kgs the majority of my health issues came back with a vengeance.  I’m finally back on track and the weight is slowly coming back off and my symptoms are starting to dissipate again.

Now 5 years on I have done my fair amount of experimenting with diet, what worked for me 5 years ago doesn’t seem to work for me now, I need more carbs to feel healthy and sleep well.  That doesn’t mean that I subscribe to a high carb diet but I would say that having 50-100gms of carbs a day is where I feel best.  For years I felt fine on below 50gms, now that amount seems to not have the desired effect.  This is where I cannot emphasise enough about experimenting with your diet, calorie amounts, macro nutrients and only you will be able to figure out where you sit on the spectrum, we are all so individual and I see Primal as a template not a set in stone prescription.  

One of the greatest things that has come from all of this is to realise how passionate I am about food, cooking is my therapy and without discovering primal I may not have realised this.  It has reignited the joy I have to sit down to my meals and nourish my body, I’m not about deprivation hence why I could never do a regimented program, my personality doesn’t suit that kind of restriction.

The discipline it takes to lose weight is half mental, visualisation is powerful, it might sound cheesy but every night before I went to sleep I would visualise that one day soon I would wake up and be able to go to my wardrobe and pick out anything I wanted to wear for that day, hey I love fashion so that was a big driving force for me.

Don't underestimate the power of visualisation, combine that with a way of eating that feels natural and relatively effortless and you having a winning combo. I ate to my hunger levels and it felt right, my body responded so well to Primal and almost 5 years on it still feels right.

How you know when you have it dialled in?

The best thing about finally finding something that works for you is you stop searching for answers.  For me Primal works and I’m eternally grateful to Mark Sisson for all of his work in creating The Primal Blueprint, Primal is now my life and I would never consider going back to how I used to eat over 4 years ago.  

Because I’ve dropped such a huge amount of weight and kept it off for several years...I’ve stopped looking for other answers, yes I still have a few kilos I’d like to lose but I know that I can do it following primal, I just need to dial it back in again and stop having the indulgences that have crept back in.   

I will never be on the constant search for the next ‘diet’, it’s such a freeing feeling!

One of the biggest things I’ve noticed is that I don’t buy health magazines anymore, and I don’t skip to the ‘nutrition’ part of any of the other trashy magazines like I once did.

Check out the covers of just a handful of some of my old magazines...

‘Our new miracle diet'

‘Little health tweaks BIG RESULTS!'

'Bikini Body Now!'

‘Drop 10 lbs in a week!’
‘Get toned arms fast’

 

The one thing these all have in common is big promises! 

I’m guilty of buying these magazines and thinking that this ‘diet’ will be different and will work.  They never did and it wasn’t until I found Primal that I ‘got it’, I understand how my body works and I don’t need to be trying different diets anymore.

Diets don’t always fail, people fail.  Harsh but true.  What you need to find is something that you can stick with and make those changes for life.  Losing weight shouldn’t be about deprivation, I’ve never felt deprived or ravenously hungry while losing weight.  Sure I’d love to go and have a pizza and still lose weight but that just simply isn’t going to ever happen. Until you can understand this you’ll probably be stuck on the mouse wheel.

I don’t need to buy any of these magazines for the health tips because I have found what works for me, so why would I need to try anything else?

“10 superfoods you can try today!” – No thanks I’m Primal.

I know how to lose body fat, get fit and be healthy, I have the answers and I know exactly how to dial it in.  The question is...”How badly to you want it?

Breaking free from the scale!

I’ve been mulling over my blog for the last few days and reading some of my old posts from when I first began, geez it really takes me back to when I was in full swing serious weight loss mode.  I still can’t believe really that I used to weigh over 100kgs, just kind of seems unbelievable, I feel so normal no w, just a normal weight, most people to look at me would think I’ve always been this size.  I’m not fat, I’m not thin, I’m just normal.  I’d like to be a little thinner, doesn’t everyone but I’m just truly thankful that I’m not fat anymore and if I’m just struggling with a few kgs who the hell cares right?! There will always be haters, some will think I’m still fat and could do with losing a bit more and then other haters who think I’m too thin, I think that’s really just because of how big I was.  It’s hard to keep everyone happy.  It got me thinking what it really takes to get the body of your dreams.

I can’t say I have the perfect body of my dreams, who the hell does, when it comes down to it even those who have the perfect stats are still going to be trying to improve themselves in some way. I find it truly fascinating the amount of woman I speak to who still think they are fat and think they could do with losing a few, even if they honestly have nothing more to lose otherwise they would look emaciated.  It is all in our head people! We are a little delusional and obviously the glossy magazines don’t really help with feeding that illusion because that’s what it is!

I’m not going to lie, of course I want to be slimmer, and who doesn’t really! I’d also like to have a bigger house, better car, to work less yadda yadda but what is realistic, what is achievable without losing focus of the big picture.  Happiness is what’s truly important, being in a loving relationship, having an amazing group of friends and family around you, giving to others, being fit and healthy, waking up everyday feeling like you are right where you want to be.  Those things are something that a number on a scale or the size on your clothes will never satisfy. 

Maybe because we focus on our bodies and looks too much we are missing what’s really important.  Maybe if we were just happy with what we had we wouldn’t care so much.  Ok so we are primal beings, we are competitive, born that way to survive, to get ourselves a mate for life.  Naturally that drives us to want to better ourselves.  I’m sure there are people out there than don’t care about any of this, people who are truly content, people who are striving and hoping to better themselves each day and then there are the majorly obsessive people who will never find a happy place with themselves.

I like to think that I’m in between the truly content and striving, I’ve had moments of obsessive and moments of I don’t give a crap. Right now I feel pretty happy with my life, sure I’ve done a lot to get to where I am, I’ve lost 40odd kgs, I’m a whole lot healthier for it, my face doesn’t have two chins anymore and I think for the most part I can scrub up fairly well, I am thankful.  I have braces on my teeth at the moment which will hopefully help my jaw issues and it’s going improve my teeth so that I’m not so self conscious when I smile.  I’m never going to be modelesque, I have far too many curves, excess body weight, not tall enough and frankly not model looking anyway but I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to have all that, would it truly make me happy, probably not.  My life feels pretty full, I feel happy most days, I still wake up and bounce out of bed most of the time happy, but I still have fat days, I still have bad hair days and ugly days.  But above all of that I am thankful, I’m thankful that I’m here, I have a healthy functioning body, a husband who adores me, a family that loves me and friends who I’m pretty sure love me too!

So what does it take to get that perfect body, I guess good genes help somewhat, healthy diet - I'd suggest a Primal one of course! a level of calorie or carbohydrate restriction, the right type and amount of exercise, plastic surgery or even lippo for some hell I don’t really know exactly but what I do know that no matter what, it takes time, discipline and serious commitment.  Even if you don’t end up getting the body of your dreams you can make massive changes and get a body that will serve you very well.  I’m pretty happy with my body, when I stand naked in a mirror I can appreciate my curves and feel good about where I’m at.  I can still see plenty of places where I’d like to lift areas and trim fat off myself but overall it’s obviously not enough for me to carve myself out a bangin body, I wish it was but apparently it’s not, otherwise perhaps I would be at the perfect weight.  Maybe it also has something to do with how much my husband adores me and also loves the size I am right now.

I think that everyone who has lost weight goes through this, when will it be enough, will we ever stop and feel truly happy with our appearance, would losing those last few kgs and getting a tummy tuck or breast lift or get the bit of excess skin removed really make us happy.  I think if I had the money then sure I would do it, however I don’t know if I would feel much different.  At the end of the day most of us are just striving to do better, I do think this is a good thing but it’s about finding balance to not drive ourselves crazy everyday.

When I was morbidly obese weighing 107kgs I used to daydream about how wonderful it would be just to fit into my size 14 jeans, I couldn’t even really imagine that it would be possible again, I would hold up my favourite jeans and just want to cry, I couldn’t believe that I had done all that damage to myself, a couple of years prior I was wearing those jeans, it seemed like a distant memory.  I guess every woman has those moments, no matter what your size, we have all cried or wanted to cry just to fit back into our favourite jeans.  I could have sworn that back in 2008 when I was a size 20-22 that I would have done anything to magically just fit into those jeans and I remember saying to myself that if I could just be healthy again and feel somewhat slim then I would be truly happy... 

So I arrived at approx 75kgs, a size 14 and it was unbelievable when I realised that I finally fitted those jeans.  Unfortunately that feeling didn't last and it wasn’t enough, now I knew I could do it I wanted to lose more, the slimmer I could get the better right? In the past I’ve been a size 8 at 54kgs, I knew that I was thin but I didn’t arrive there thinking that my life was just perfect, I remember thinking well I’m thin, now what?  My lowest weight on this journey has been 64.8kgs, I loved being that size, I fitted into a size 10-11 and I felt damn good when I think back, however when I was that size I knew that I wanted to better myself even further, why not try for 62kgs because then I’ll fit a size 9-10.  All just numbers in my head thinking it might change how I feel. 

I never did get to 62, I’d love to, lets be honest.  My body naturally falls at 69kgs quite easily, I don’t have to work that hard for it, I can indulge easily and just stay this size, a size 12.  I’ve been all different weights and sizes.  While I’m not the smallest I’ve ever been or would like to be I can say I feel the happiest I’ve ever been.  At the moment I’m trying to break the chains to the scale, I’m trying to detach myself from the outcome and not worry about it so much, I’ve put the scales away for 30 days, I’m extremely over weighing myself every day, those numbers just mess with my head and I think it’s best we take a break from each other.  I know when I’m getting fat, I eat too much and my pants get tight.  This will be an interesting challenge, I like numbers and I like to feel in control when I know exactly what my numbers are.  I’m going to do my best to stick to this challenge and make my next 30 days be about self love, nurturing my body with fresh healthy delicious clean eating.  I’m nervous but excited to break the cycle!

New Pic!

So here's a new pic dh took of me today, I weighed in at 77kgs this morning which means I've lost 30kgs!! :) I honestly find it hard to see a massive change from the 50lb loss photo but dh reckons it's a big difference and it is another 16lbs after all. I'm looking forward to seeing the changes once the resistance training takes effect and more fat loss happens....nonetheless it's a great achievement and I'm really proud of myself.

New Pic!

So here's a new pic dh took of me today, I weighed in at 77kgs this morning which means I've lost 30kgs!! :) I honestly find it hard to see a massive change from the 50lb loss photo but dh reckons it's a big difference and it is another 16lbs after all. I'm looking forward to seeing the changes once the resistance training takes effect and more fat loss happens....nonetheless it's a great achievement and I'm really proud of myself.

I'm Hooked!

Ok so I am hooked! I know it’s early days and I don’t want to speak too soon but I’m loving the weights and having that me time at the gym. I did a full body weight workout last week and I was sore in every part of my body for 4 days!!! No joke… isn’t this telling me something! my husband is so funny, he was like “oh your muscles are probably the size of a pea now instead of half a pea” lol but in all honesty he’s really stoked I’ve joined the gym and we went together yesterday which was cool.

I did some low level cardio last week too to try and get my legs moving after the intense workout and it helped a little. I am pretty excited to see the change that will begin to happen, it’s not going to be instant and will be hard work but it will be worth it, there are so many great benefits to exercise and I want to experience them.

I'm Hooked!

Ok so I am hooked! I know it’s early days and I don’t want to speak too soon but I’m loving the weights and having that me time at the gym. I did a full body weight workout last week and I was sore in every part of my body for 4 days!!! No joke… isn’t this telling me something! my husband is so funny, he was like “oh your muscles are probably the size of a pea now instead of half a pea” lol but in all honesty he’s really stoked I’ve joined the gym and we went together yesterday which was cool.

I did some low level cardio last week too to try and get my legs moving after the intense workout and it helped a little. I am pretty excited to see the change that will begin to happen, it’s not going to be instant and will be hard work but it will be worth it, there are so many great benefits to exercise and I want to experience them.

Trip to the GYM!

Today I had my appointment with a trainer at the gym to go through my first workout. They also did my body fat percentage with callipers and I’m stoked to report it was 32.8% so it was much lower than the scale measurement which came in at 40.3%. That’s a huge difference so I was pleased that they pinched my fat lol. They’ve done me a split program so upper body on one day and lower on another day which means I can go on more days and not lose momentum…hopefully ;)

We just went through the whole upper and lower workout but only 1 set and then next time I go it will be 2 sets and then 3 sets. It was super hard, I am extremely unfit so it was definitely challenging, but this is what I want, I’m not going there to hop on a piece of cardio equipment and read a magazine. I can already tell I’m going to be very sore tomorrow…bring it on, I love sore muscles!

Trip to the GYM!

Today I had my appointment with a trainer at the gym to go through my first workout. They also did my body fat percentage with callipers and I’m stoked to report it was 32.8% so it was much lower than the scale measurement which came in at 40.3%. That’s a huge difference so I was pleased that they pinched my fat lol. They’ve done me a split program so upper body on one day and lower on another day which means I can go on more days and not lose momentum…hopefully ;)

We just went through the whole upper and lower workout but only 1 set and then next time I go it will be 2 sets and then 3 sets. It was super hard, I am extremely unfit so it was definitely challenging, but this is what I want, I’m not going there to hop on a piece of cardio equipment and read a magazine. I can already tell I’m going to be very sore tomorrow…bring it on, I love sore muscles!

PB Book Review and My exercise plan!

So I have finally read the whole Primal blueprint book and it’s such a great read!! I’m a very slow reader but I tend to absorb nutrition information really well. I also found it really easy to read which is great. I have lent it to my family with strict instructions not to let their young kids get their hands on it. After all it’s a signed copy and I don’t want it ruined, on the other hand I would really like to spread the word and letting them read it is the best I can do, they are already seeing my results.

I was really stoked to read the information on Exercise, it’s crucial to read this book if you want to live healthy. It’s not just about a ‘diet’ it’s totally about lifestyle in all areas and I really like this aspect, it kinda gave me a nudge in the right direction. So much so that the stuff I read on Exercise was so good I have finally joined the gym, it’s literally just around the corner from where I live so it’s really about time I started lifting some weights, get my heart healthy and prevent the ‘skinny fat’ look.

There is definitely new information in this book, if you read Marks Daily Apple blog which he already gives us so much info free, however there’s more in this book and it really elaborates on so much. I highly recommend you buying the book, you will not regret it, it cost me $67NZD but worth every penny. When I think of how much in the past I have spent on ‘diet/lifestyle’ books man have I wasted some $$. I don’t feel like I have wasted any money on the PB Book, it’s well worth the read.

Now that I’ve finished the PB Book I’m finally onto reading Good Calories, Bad Calories by Gary Taubes, it finally arrived at the library. I was surprised at how big this book is, hopefully I can get through it in library borrowing time. So far it’s a pretty hard read but I’m really enjoying it. Will let you know once I’ve finished it.

So on another note my eating has been so good this week, I have been having a bit of ghee or organic butter and a little cream. I haven’t had any cheese which is hard but I think it was the problem for me, better kept to a sensible vice.

I joined the gym on Thursday and went for my assessment yesterday, man I am so unfit it’s embarrassing, my body fat is 40.3% based on Tanita scales but it is that time of the month and they said they will also do a proper calliper test which will be good, then I can have an accurate read and measure my results a whole lot better. I’m guessing it’s in the upper 30’s anyway.

My goal is to lift weights and change my body composition; I asked them to do me a weights program with a little cardio and HIIT, I told them I already have my diet sorted to lose the rest of the fat I need to and I just need help with the exercise part. I plan to go 3-4 times a week, hopefully more but to be honest since I’m such a slacker at exercise, if I can get there 3 times it will be a miracle. So I’m really excited to start changing the look and feel of my body.

I weighed this week even though I said I wasn’t going to, I haven’t started working out yet so I sneaked a peak, it was 78.1!! woohoo I am stoked that means I’ve lost exactly 29kgs, wow! and yes I will upload a new photo shortly...

PB Book Review and My exercise plan!

So I have finally read the whole Primal blueprint book and it’s such a great read!! I’m a very slow reader but I tend to absorb nutrition information really well. I also found it really easy to read which is great. I have lent it to my family with strict instructions not to let their young kids get their hands on it. After all it’s a signed copy and I don’t want it ruined, on the other hand I would really like to spread the word and letting them read it is the best I can do, they are already seeing my results.

I was really stoked to read the information on Exercise, it’s crucial to read this book if you want to live healthy. It’s not just about a ‘diet’ it’s totally about lifestyle in all areas and I really like this aspect, it kinda gave me a nudge in the right direction. So much so that the stuff I read on Exercise was so good I have finally joined the gym, it’s literally just around the corner from where I live so it’s really about time I started lifting some weights, get my heart healthy and prevent the ‘skinny fat’ look.

There is definitely new information in this book, if you read Marks Daily Apple blog which he already gives us so much info free, however there’s more in this book and it really elaborates on so much. I highly recommend you buying the book, you will not regret it, it cost me $67NZD but worth every penny. When I think of how much in the past I have spent on ‘diet/lifestyle’ books man have I wasted some $$. I don’t feel like I have wasted any money on the PB Book, it’s well worth the read.

Now that I’ve finished the PB Book I’m finally onto reading Good Calories, Bad Calories by Gary Taubes, it finally arrived at the library. I was surprised at how big this book is, hopefully I can get through it in library borrowing time. So far it’s a pretty hard read but I’m really enjoying it. Will let you know once I’ve finished it.

So on another note my eating has been so good this week, I have been having a bit of ghee or organic butter and a little cream. I haven’t had any cheese which is hard but I think it was the problem for me, better kept to a sensible vice.

I joined the gym on Thursday and went for my assessment yesterday, man I am so unfit it’s embarrassing, my body fat is 40.3% based on Tanita scales but it is that time of the month and they said they will also do a proper calliper test which will be good, then I can have an accurate read and measure my results a whole lot better. I’m guessing it’s in the upper 30’s anyway.

My goal is to lift weights and change my body composition; I asked them to do me a weights program with a little cardio and HIIT, I told them I already have my diet sorted to lose the rest of the fat I need to and I just need help with the exercise part. I plan to go 3-4 times a week, hopefully more but to be honest since I’m such a slacker at exercise, if I can get there 3 times it will be a miracle. So I’m really excited to start changing the look and feel of my body.

I weighed this week even though I said I wasn’t going to, I haven’t started working out yet so I sneaked a peak, it was 78.1!! woohoo I am stoked that means I’ve lost exactly 29kgs, wow! and yes I will upload a new photo shortly...