Back in skinny jeans & my food diary!

A while back - say 4 months ago I didn't feel like the inspiration so many of you think of me as, a few of you might know about my recent weight gain - I actually ended up gaining 9 kgs (not 6 like I initially thought).  I had taken a break from the scale and thought it would all iron out,  when my pants no longer fit I needed to get real with myself.  When I finally weighed again on the 3rd July 2013, I ended up weighing 78kgs which freaked the crap out of me, I had not been this weight for over 4 years when I first lost my weight.   This was a result of my safe starch experiment which did not agree with me and left me feeling sick and fat.  It wasn't just the starches that did it, I believe that for me the starches were a slippery slope that lead me to eating a bunch of unhealthy foods and my appetite was out of control!  Now I think for many people adding safe starches works wonderfully, I am just not one of them.

I have hovered in the 65-69kg range for 4 years and feel pretty awesome there, I have followed a Primal diet, mostly in ketosis with my carbs ranging from 20-70 a day, some weekends I would break this and have a few treats but I have spent the majority of the last 5 years (including the 1 year it took me to lose the weight) in a keto-adapted state - primal food of course.

Now a 9kg weight gain is a big deal for me, I knew if I didn't get this off pronto then it could turn into a much bigger problem and I just wasn't prepared to go down that road after all the hard work and determination I've put into my health over the years. I'm writing this to show you guys that I'm just a normal person with the same insecurities and imperfections that you all have.  I'm not perfect and I have to make daily choices with my food just like everyone else.  I get comments like "it must be easy when you work from home", well my answer to that is yes it can be easier in terms of cooking what I want to when I want but it also means I have such easy access to my fridge and pantry and I have to be super mindful that I don't just graze on food willy nilly.

I had the most amazing email from Mark Sisson when I asked him for some guidance as I was feeling very deflated.  Part of what he wrote me:

Sorry you have experienced a minor setback, but I'm glad you are experimenting and trying new things.  In no way would you ever disappoint me.  Throughout your journey as detailed in your photos you have looked beautiful and healthy (and radiant) at the 69-70 kg weight.  That is a great, healthy, long-life weight for you.  There is no reason to struggle to get down much below that.  Just pick up where you left off and you will get there again.  No apologies.  No disappointments.  No beating yourself up for having tried something new.  Just gratitude for what you have done to get here and for all the knowledge and confidence you now have to be healthy for the rest of your life.

Hearing that really helped me to stop beating myself up about what I had done and to just move on, when you know better you do better.  I knew what to do so I just got right back to basics remembering that slow weight loss works best and thinking long term about a healthy long-life weight as Mark so eloquently pointed out to me.

So I have been back to following a ketogenic version of Primal for 18 weeks now (with 2 weeks of a Whole30 - well it was a Whole14 for me) and I have managed to get those 9kgs off! I am so thrilled and I feel back to my normal self weight wise, the health issues are improving, I do think my body took a real hit after my starch experiment. 

I have also had a nasty inner ear virus a few months back which has made my Meniere's Disease much worse and it really has thrown me a curve ball, the way I choose to respond to it is what matters.  I choose my health first because without that I have nothing.  I find that sticking to a ketogenic diet and watching my sodium intake seems to be the thing that helps me manage my menieres's disease, along with a myriad of symptoms like depression, anxiety, PCOS, migraines and daily headaches that all flare up when I'm not in ketosis.

As explained in my Ketosis post I am monitoring my blood ketone levels, just to see how deep in ketosis I am, I won't do this forever (the strips are really expensive $1.70 each!), it's because I'm a data nerd and I am seeing what foods will throw me out of ketosis - too much protein is certainly something that will do that.  I tend to feel better when I am in ketosis, I have more energy, no crazy sweet cravings, I'm sleeping 8-9hours a night and only waking up once, if that.  If I eat a higher carb diet (anything above 70) I wake 4-5 times a night so the quality isn't as good. As mentioned above all the health issues I've struggled with for years are improved beyond what any medication has been able to achieve, food really is that powerful.

It's always a bit of a catch 22, because you need energy to put into cooking decent food for yourself, yet you don't have the energy until the processed carbs are out.  If you can just get through that initial carb flu then the boundless energy you get means that continuing to cook amazing food isn't in the hard basket you might think it is.  At least this is the case for me.

So I've detailed the last 7 days of my food diary to give you an idea of what I have been eating to lose the weight.  Weight loss isn't linear, some weeks you will lose more, some weeks you will lose less, some weeks you will gain and some weeks you won't lose at all, this is why I don't recommend weighing all the time otherwise you will likely drive yourself crazy.  If you can weigh and take it for what it is then by all means go for it.  If you are weight training then don't even bother as you will be changing your body composition and the scale won't tell you much, take photos and body measurements, it's much more accurate than the scale.    

For weight loss I try to keep my calories around about 1500-1600 a day, for you it might be different depending on your size and activity level.  I'm not currently active due to a back injury and the inner ear issues, I've only been doing gentle walks.  If you are active then please increase your calories.  The more you cut your calories the more you will damage your metabolism and then it will be difficult to keep the weight off in the long term.  It is better to do a slow deficit, for example my maintenance calories are around about 2000 a day so therefore I only drop about 400 a day.  It means a slower weight loss of about 1 pound or 0.5kg a week, not too much too fast but enough to keep momentum.

Now please don't think you have to run out and purchase a ketone meter and test for ketones, nor do you have to even be in ketosis like I am, I do it because I feel better health wise and I like the feeling of ketosis - not everyone does.  

At the end of the day if you drop the processed carbs, grains, processed seed oils, sugary products and keep an eye on your calories for a couple of weeks to figure out if it's working then that should be enough.  Exercise is also a great idea, there is so many health benefits to exercise, too many to write down here.  When it comes to weight loss the majority of your results will come from from you eat, it's about 80% of the equation.  Keeping a written diary is vital, pay attention to your mood, sleep, appetite etc.. Your body is really good at letting you know if you need to change something.  If that isn't enough then going down the route of a Ketogoenic diet is always an option.

Wednesday 30th October 2013 
Blood Ketone level: 0.8
8am: Duck egg omelet (2 eggs), with cream, cherry tomatoes, coriander and cheese
3pm: 2 slices of Haloumi cheese, 4 walnuts
6pm: Steak with mushrooms, peppers, zucchini, green beans, sesame oil and coconut aminos, 2 squares of 85% Lindt

59gms Carb - 17gms Fiber = 42gms Net Carbs, 83gms Protein, 130gms Fat 1630 Calories

Thursday 31st October

Blood Ketone level: 0.9

7am: 2 eggs mashed in butter, Decaf nespresso with cream and 1 tsp sugar, 2 squares of  85% Lindt

2pm: 4 Flax and Almond Crackers from Little Bird, topped with Mashed tuna mixed with homemade mayo. 3 slices of Haloumi cheese, 1 square of 85% Lindt 

8pm: Chilli Prawns with a large salad of greens, cherry tomatoes, avocado. 1 square of 85% Lindt.

39gms Carb - 8gms Fiber = 31gms Net Carbs, 70gms Protein, 124gms Fat, 1580 Calories

Friday 1st November

Blood Ketone level: 1.7

10am: 2 eggs mashed in butter, Decaf nespresso with cream and 1 tsp sugar, 2 squares of  85% Lindt, 1 piece of frozen macadamia and cashew fudge

6pm: Scallops with zucchini noodles and browned butter and cream topped with parmesan cheese, 1 square 85% Lindt

39gms Carb - 11gms Fiber = 28gms Net Carbs, 65gms Protein, 121gms Fat, 1486 Calories

Saturday 2nd November

Blood Ketone level: 1.7
9am: Hot Coconut Chocolate - 60mls Coconut cream, 20gms Unsalted Butter, 2 tsps sugar, 2 tsps Cocoa powder, boiling hot water (all blended together - makes a creamy hot chocolate), 1 square 85% Lindt

1pm: 4 Flax and Almond Crackers from Little Bird, topped with Mashed tuna mixed with homemade mayo. 1 square 85% Lindt.  
3pm: Decaf Long black with 1 sugar and a side of runny cream (cafe)

6.30pm: Takeaways from Mexican Restaurant: Barbacoa Shredded Beef Salad with cheese, lettuce, guacamole, chipotle, sour cream. 1 square Lindt 85%

*This is a really large mug, the size of two standard cups! I really like drinking out of my Pooh bear mug that my brother bought me for my 16th birthday! This drink fills me up for a few hours :)

62gms Carb - 16gms Fiber = 45gms Net Carbs, 83gms Protein, 124gms Fat, 1605 Calories

Sunday 3rd November
Blood Ketone level: 0.9
8am: Scrambled eggs (2 made with cream and butter), Decaf nespresso with cream and 1 tsp sugar, 2 squares of  85% Lindt
10.30am: Decaf Long black with 1 sugar and a side of runny cream (cafe)

2pm: Hot Coconut Chocolate - 60mls Coconut cream, 20gms Unsalted Butter, 2 tsps sugar, 2 tsps Cocoa powder, boiling hot water (all blended together - makes a creamy hot chocolate), handful of fresh strawberries

7pm: Pork and Chicken from the weber BBQ, roasted pumpkin and radishes, large salad with avocado, red peppers and homemade aioli

41gms Carb - 15gms Fiber = 26gms Net Carbs, 59gms Protein, 127gms Fat, 1586 Calories

Monday 4th November

Blood Ketone level: 1.1

8am: 2 eggs mashed with homemade aioli, Hot Coconut Chocolate - 60mls Coconut cream, 20gms Unsalted Butter, 2 tsps sugar, 2 tsps Cocoa powder, boiling hot water (all blended together - makes a creamy hot chocolate)

2pm: Decaf nespresso with cream and 1 tsp sugar, slice of leftover pork

6pm: Thai Green Chicken Curry Soup (recipe link is for the curry, for the soup I just make it basically the same but use half the amount of coconut cream and a couple of cups of Chicken Bone Broth). 2 pieces 85% Lindt

31gms Carb - 7gms Fiber = 24gms Net Carbs, 60gms Protein, 104gms Fat, 1380 Calories

Tuesday 5th November

Blood Ketone level: 1.8
12pm: Leftover pork, roast pumpkin with spinach greens and homemade aioli and lemon olive oil, 2 squares 85% Lindt
6pm: Chicken, Cashew and Coconut Curry (leftover chicken with onion and carrot, mix in Tikka masala curry paste from Pataks and Coconut cream). Served with Coriander and Ginger Cauliflower Rice cooked in butter. 1 square 85% Lindt

52gms Carb - 13gms Fiber = 39gms Net Carbs, 59gms Protein, 127gms Fat, 1621 Calories

Wednesday 6th November

Blood Ketone level: 1.1

1pm: A bed of spinach and asparagus, topped with poached eggs and hollandaise sauce. 1 square Lindt 85%
7.30pm: Takeaways from Burgerfuel: Fordfreakout burger wrapped in lettuce - 1/3 pound 100% pure NZ grass fed beef, bacon, avocado, salad, relish and fresh natural aioli. 1 square Lindt 85%

37gms Carb - 15gms Fiber = 22gms Net Carbs, 56gms Protein, 129gms Fat, 1670 Calories

My jeans feel looser and I totally did a happy dance to be back down to 69kgs! The entire time I've been losing weight I haven't felt deprived, hungry or like I was dieting - does it look like I've been on some restrictive diet? I think not!

I choose not to make many primal or paleo "substitutes" as I find it gives me cravings for the real thing and artificial sweeteners (even stevia) trigger vertigo attacks and I cannot stand the bitter taste.   My compromise Macadamia & Cashew Fudge every now and then and 85% Lindt Dark Chocolate everyday, it keeps me sane and satisfied (mostly fat with a little sugar) and I eat many squares a day - don't judge me, it's something that I enjoy ;)  I do think it is important to find a little treat that you can have otherwise you will likely start to feel like you are missing out and that's no fun for anyone!

Like I've said so many times before I can eat this way for the rest of my life therefore I don't feel like I'm dieting. I hope some of you out there find this helpful and encouraging. 

Also I'm finally up to date with all social media networks now!!! Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Pinterest and Twitter 
I now have videos on YouTube as some of you may learn better from videos vs blogging (this is still in the early stages so apologies for a bit of amateur videoing).  You can also view them through Pinterest, plus on Pinterest I have books I've read, recipe links, food I eat on a daily basis and primal resources etc...
Instagram I upload a few more pictures that I do on Facebook as the rules of Facebook are changing and you have to pay for everyone to see your posts which annoys me!  Twitter... well updates of all my geeky links that I read and whatever else I find amusing or helpful.  

I think that about covers this gigantic post, please share this around to help spread the word about Primal, I believe one person at a time change will happen.  Thank you all so much for following me and keeping me on my toes, without your support I'm not sure I would have been so motivated to do all this so I have a lot of gratitude to you all! Michelle x

Ketosis

EDIT November 2014:

I no longer endorse Ketosis for the long term,  over the long term ketosis threw my body into complete disarray, my hormones and cortisol is really out of whack and I'm working really hard these days to get my natural energy and sleep balance back.  Please do your research and if something doesn't feel right then make sure you question it.

Hey guys, I have dipped in and out of ketosis for close to 5 years, I don't always stay in ketosis 100% of the time, we all know that I love to have indulgences every now and then and I like my treats, however the majority of the time I spend in ketosis is because it helps the myriad of health issues I have struggled with all my life and I feel my very best in ketosis.  

I've posted this video to help those of you that also may struggle with these issues.  Please don't think you have to achieve nutritional ketosis to get the same benefits as I have, we are all very unique and you need to treat your body with the respect it deserves.  Ketosis is a stress on the body much like exercise and calorie restriction (not always a bad thing) but if you are living a stressful life and already exercising and dieting then doing a ketogenic version of a primal or paleo diet may not be what is right for YOU! I cannot figure that out for you so please use a diary like I suggest to find your right version of Primal/Paleo.

If you have only been doing low carb for less than 6 weeks then you might be disappointed in the results if you buy one of these machines as you may not be keto-adapted yet. It can take 1-6 weeks to achieve ketosis.  See more information below.

When it comes to eating real food I believe that most people will experience some significant health and weight loss results without having to go on a ketogenic diet. 

Links for information about ketosis and where to get the ketone monitoring machine.
http://www.medica.co.nz/diabetes-care/blood-ketone-monitoring.html
http://www.dietdoctor.com/lose-weight-by-achieving-optimal-ketosis
http://eatingacademy.com/nutrition/is-ketosis-dangerous
http://www.myfitnesspal.com
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yP6DtqmZ3Mw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tc96Lk1VVS4

Information below from DietDoctor

Ketosis

Ketosis is a state at which the body has an extremely high fat-burning rate. Even the brain runs on fat, via ketone bodies. These are energy molecules in the blood (like blood sugar) which become fuel for our brains after being converted from fat by the liver.

To encourage ketone production, the amount of insulin in your bloodstream must be low. The lower your insulin, the higher your ketone production. And when you have a well-controlled, sufficiently large amount of ketones in your blood, it’s basically proof that your insulin is very low – and therefore, that you’re enjoying the maximum effect of your low-carbohydrate diet. That’s what’s called optimal ketosis.

Measuring ketones

Today, there are reasonably-priced gadgets available for measuring ketone levels at home. One needle prick of the finger, and in just a few seconds you’ll know your blood ketone level.

Blood ketones are best measured on a fasted stomach in the morning (before breakfast, that is). Here are a few pointers on how to interpret the result:

• Below 0.5 mmol/L is not considered “ketosis”. At this level, you’re far away from maximum fat-burning.
• Between 0.5-1.5 mmol/L is light nutritional ketosis. You’ll be getting a good effect on your weight, but not optimal.
• Around 1.5 – 3 mmol/L is what’s called optimal ketosis and is recommended for maximum weight loss.
• Values of over 3 mmol/L aren’t neccessary. That is, they will achieve neither better nor worse results than being at the 1.5-3 level. Higher values can also sometimes mean that you’re not getting enough food. For type 1 diabetics, it can be caused by a severe lack of insulin, see below.

Many who firmly believe they are eating a strict low-carb diet are surprised when they measure their blood ketones. They may be at around only 0.2 or 0.5 – quite far off from the sweet spot! Why?

The trick here is not only to avoid all obvious sourced of carbohydrate (sweets, bread, spaghetti, rice, potatoes), but also to be careful with your protein intake. If you eat large amounts of meat, eggs and the like, the excess protein will converted into glucose in the body. Large amounts of protein can also raise your insulin levels somewhat. This compromises optimal ketosis.

The secret to getting around this is usually to eat your fill with more fat. For example, if you have a bigger helping of herb butter to your steak, you might not feel like having a second steak, and instead feel satisfied after the first one.

A popular trick people use to ingest more fat is “fat coffee” (sometimes called “Magic Bullet Coffee” or MBC). It involves adding one tablespoon of butter and one tablespoon of coconut oil to your (morning) coffee, and requires a food blender for the right texture.

More fat in your food will fill you up more. This will ensure you eat less protein, and even less carbohydrate. Your insulin will drop and, hopefully, you’ll be able to reach optimal ketosis. And that’s when many a stubborn weight plateau is overcome.

Keeping the weight off!

The first picture was taken in August 2008. The second picture was taken (yesterday) October 2013. I have kept 40kgs off for five years which is relatively rare, the "statistics" is that the majority of people who lose weight generally gain it back and then some within five years. I am in the minority of something like 5-10% who have kept their weight off. I think the biggest reason why I haven't gained it all back is because I've never felt like I was dieting, I eat Primal, I love it and I finally feel free from a dieting mentality. I have definitely had ups and downs on this journey but that's life, if I waited until the timing was perfect then I would've never started!

While I have always been a smiley person, behind the smile it was a different story. I was suffering from debilitating depression, anxiety and panic attacks and hardly left the house. I couldn't exercise easily and had bad knees, my blood sugar spikes and lows gave me chronic lightheadedness all the time, I didn't recognise the person staring back at me in the mirror, I had no job and I felt like I had no hope. With the loving support of my amazing husband I have managed to turn it all around.

Five years on and I no longer suffer the debilitating depression, anxiety and panic attacks I once did, I run my own successful business that I started five years ago, I can exercise freely with no knee pain, I don't have to constantly eat every couple of hours to stabilise my blood sugar, I am happier, I am healthier and I have a completely different outlook on life, suffice to say I am a different person, this journey is so much more than just a physical transformation!

5 years Primal!!!

Denial is a very powerful emotion, I understand it as I've been in denial many times in my life, the most poignant moment was when I was at my biggest weight. I was truly in such a state of denial that I only saw what I wanted to see in the mirror, I had convinced myself that I was ok and maybe I wasn't the size I once was but it wasn't really that bad. It took a few epiphany moments for me to get into the head space to turn it all around. When I started to despise shopping because nothing looked good to me, the moment I realised that a size 20 (NZ) pair of jeans were only just doing up. I even thought that the sizes must just be wrong, I honestly at that time still thought I was ok. When my sister had her baby shower at almost full term and we played the game to guess the circumference of her waist, this was one of the biggest moments that helped me get out of my state of denial. When I realised that my stomach was BIGGER that my full term pregnant sister I finally woke up and realised I'm the only one in control and I can change this!

Today is a milestone for me, it's been 5 years since I started my weight loss journey, losing the weight became like my job, I was so focused that I knew I could do it and I let nothing stand in my way.  It was a much tougher journey than I thought it would be, mentally and physically but the psychological aspect of weight loss is much bigger than what a lot of people realise. While initially all I wanted was weight loss I have learnt over the years that becoming healthy and nourishing my body have now become the most important driving force to me these days. I have kept my weight off for 4 years with a couple of minor fluctuations - which I've also learnt is just part of the journey.  I'm not perfect!

My biggest piece of advice is to just start making changes, you don't have to be perfect, perfection will get you nowhere. However it does takes time and each day you have the opportunity to make changes, some days seem easy and other days it feels incredibly overwhelming.  It's not about becoming a certain "weight" or "size", it's about being comfortable with your body and whatever that means to you. The results are so worth it, treat your body with the respect it deserves, it's the only one you have!

Maintaining my weight loss

When I started my journey back in 2008 I had so much drive, so much focus and the absolute desire to shed 40 odd kgs.  So here I am almost 5 years down the track and while I’ve keep the weight off (give or take a few kgs) I will share with you why I think it’s much tougher to keep the weight off, ok I’ll rephrase that, things change and while it may not be tougher it takes a different set of skills.

The beginning of my journey started on October 2008, I had finally decided that I was sick and tired of being sick and tired...overweight, out of shape, unhappy and generally I just felt so unattractive and uncomfortable in my body.  I didn’t feel like it was my body anymore, nor did I feel like the person staring back at me was me, it was as if I had a fat suit on and it didn’t matter what clothing I tried to wear to disguise how large I was or how long my hair got or how well I applied my make up nothing detracted from how I felt emotionally.  When those comments of wow you have  amazing hair were just far to frequent you start to realise that it’s the one thing people will compliment you on because they aren’t going to say how amazing you look because the truth is I didn’t look amazing.  I was smiling on the outside but on the inside I was downright miserable and couldn’t wait to be rid of the extra fat I had acquired, I had let my body define “who” I was.

The first thing that I changed was my diet.  After reading everything I could get my hands on I realised that to lose a substantial amount of weight you need to change the food, 80-90% of your results will come from your diet.  While exercise will help shape your body and make you feel mentally amazing, it’s a pretty poor way to try and lose a LOT of weight.  The old mantra of burn x amount of calories is not going to get you that far – well it didn’t for me.  What’s the best way to work up an appetite? Go for a run!  Simple answer is that high intensity cardio exercise will increase your appetite.  Lifting weights is where it’s at; bodyweight exercise is also very effective.

I dove head first into it and threw out everything in my house that resembled unhealthy and loaded up with what I knew was going to work.  I had done low carb in the past so I had a fair idea of what sort of things I could have but this time is was going to be a far more healthy version of low carb.  In my mind low carb had worked a charm last time but I just hadn’t embraced veggies enough and lived off diet coke.  This time I had the fridge full of fresh veggies, fruit, meat, chicken, eggs, high fat dairy and in the cupboard were a few cans of tomatoes, olive oil, nuts, soda water, herbal teas etc..

It didn’t take long to start dropping the weight and I soon figured out what my sweet spot was for weight loss....Higher fat, moderate protein and low carb.  The weight was dropping off easily a kg a week and kept that momentum for just over a year, the lower in weight I got I would determine that I needed less food and just adjusted accordingly.  I started blogging to keep some accountability as I was the ONLY one at the time I knew of that was doing this “crazy farfetched” style of eating.  People around me thought I was nuts and honestly I just lived like a bit of hermit while my ‘job’ was to lose weight.  I was unemployed for several months as I had just lost my job to a redundancy, it was when the recession first hit and it was a bit of a blessing in disguise.

I was very lucky to have the support of my loving husband who allowed me to focus on losing the weight while trying to come up with a way to start my own business.  It only took one month to decide to start my business altering and repairing clothing with my 2 domestic sewing machines, I had a small sandwich board out the front of our house and during my lunch breaks I would flyer drop.  I started to get a name for myself and plenty of long hours and hard work I can happily say that it’s been almost 5 years on am I’m going stronger than ever, I have 5 industrial sewing machines and a very steady stream of repeat customers, my business is what I would finally call successful.

Initially when I first lost all my weight I think I was just so bombarded with compliments of “OH MY GOD YOU LOOK AMAZING!!!” How can you not be on cloud nine with amazing comments like that?  They lasted about a year and anytime I saw someone I hadn’t seen since I’d lost my weight.  This is a very rewarding part of weight loss, however as time goes on people just get used to you and the comments stop and I guess well you are just normal.  Now don’t get me wrong normal is nice but those compliments are a huge driving force to keeping you strict and after a while you need to find what it is about your “new you” that will keep you maintaining your weight? I can’t answer this question for you personally but I know for myself that while yes I have fluctuated a wee bit, I have kept most of my weight off.  The biggest non vanity reason for that is because of my health, I have suffered with Anxiety, Depression, PCOS, Menieres Disease and all sorts of other issues that didn’t reduce until I lost the weight and ate Primal.  I don’t know if it was the weight loss or the Primal eating that has been the driving force in keeping these health problems at bay but what I do know is that for 6 months while I wasn’t eating very primal and gained 5kgs the majority of my health issues came back with a vengeance.  I’m finally back on track and the weight is slowly coming back off and my symptoms are starting to dissipate again.

Now 5 years on I have done my fair amount of experimenting with diet, what worked for me 5 years ago doesn’t seem to work for me now, I need more carbs to feel healthy and sleep well.  That doesn’t mean that I subscribe to a high carb diet but I would say that having 50-100gms of carbs a day is where I feel best.  For years I felt fine on below 50gms, now that amount seems to not have the desired effect.  This is where I cannot emphasise enough about experimenting with your diet, calorie amounts, macro nutrients and only you will be able to figure out where you sit on the spectrum, we are all so individual and I see Primal as a template not a set in stone prescription.  

One of the greatest things that has come from all of this is to realise how passionate I am about food, cooking is my therapy and without discovering primal I may not have realised this.  It has reignited the joy I have to sit down to my meals and nourish my body, I’m not about deprivation hence why I could never do a regimented program, my personality doesn’t suit that kind of restriction.

The discipline it takes to lose weight is half mental, visualisation is powerful, it might sound cheesy but every night before I went to sleep I would visualise that one day soon I would wake up and be able to go to my wardrobe and pick out anything I wanted to wear for that day, hey I love fashion so that was a big driving force for me.

Don't underestimate the power of visualisation, combine that with a way of eating that feels natural and relatively effortless and you having a winning combo. I ate to my hunger levels and it felt right, my body responded so well to Primal and almost 5 years on it still feels right.

EVERYTHING IN MODERATION?

When it comes to the word moderation I can tend to get a little wound up!

Especially when it’s used in the way that most people phrase it, the diet industry especially is ‘Everything in moderation”.  Hell if moderation had of worked for me then I would never have gotten so huge!

The reason I'm writing this post is mostly for myself to come to peace with where I am at! However I know that there are several others out there that feel like they are broken because frankly they just can't come to grips with everything in moderation.  I'm here to tell you that neither can I.  I've never been able to do moderation, this is my personality type.  

For years I've thought this was a fault and something to be ashamed of, as I've gotten a little older and wiser I'm starting to come to grips with my reality that it's OK that I don't do well with moderation!

The word moderate means: "Being within reasonable limits; not excessive or extreme"

Now I'd love to say that I can be moderate but it is without a doubt that I am NOT a girl that can do moderation!
I’m extreme.
I'm Intense.
I'm overly Passionate.
I‘m over the top.
With everything!
I’m a lot to handle for some who don’t understand me.
This is one of the reasons I don't drink alcohol, I don't consider myself an alcoholic but I know I could easily become one.  My father is and I tend to have the same tendencies as him so that is one area of my life that I just have to abstain.  When it comes to food however one cannot abstain because we need food to live!

So I'm a perfectionist, if I set out to create something (and this is my job as I'm a sewer), you can bet it will be the best and if it's not then I will start again, I'm extremely determined, that's the nice word, my husband calls it stubbornness.  I can be relatively demanding, opinionated and sometimes argumentative but on the flipside of that I'm extremely loving, caring, and loyal and I will go above and beyond for those I love.  Unfortunately I often have high expectations of the people around me and it's only because I have high expectations of myself.  I am also quite a relaxed person and I can joke around with anyone but I have no time for pussy footing!

So why am I writing this post? Mostly to come to grips with my dieting/eating/exercising history!

I’ve been Primal for coming up 5 years now, it’s worked for me! Now I have trialed a few different things throughout my weight loss/weight maintenance journey over the years.  I’ve done it all, low carb, high carb, intermittent fasting, nutritional ketosis, calorie counting both high and low, you name it I’ve done it and more recently I have tried a slightly higher carb version of Primal which has included safe starches.

This experiment has left me gaining weight.  I feel that I am just one of those people that cannot eat starches or sugars in moderation, I just can’t , I’ve tried a combination of it all, I’ve done more carbs and less fat, I’ve trialed different calorie amounts and I’ve also tried not counting my calories and just eating to my “natural hunger”.  What I’ve found is that I cannot eat that way and feel 100% at the same time.  I’d love it if I could but it turns out I can’t.  I don’t feel my best and I certainly don’t look my best.

What has worked for me for the past almost 5 years has been my original version of Primal where I never counted calories but I did keep track of my food in a food diary and had a fair idea of my calories (probably around 1500-1600 a day while in weight loss mode) I like to keep my carbs relatively low between 20-70 which includes lots of veggies, some fruit (berries), moderate protein and plenty of fat, and that’s what works for me, frankly I should have known better but I’m a bit of a experimenter, as they say if it ain't broke then don't fix it! I should have taken my own advice!

However I will say that I’ve learnt an awful lot about myself in this process.  This recent experiment of mine has left me gaining 6kgs and my beloved jeans don’t fit! Now don’t get me wrong, I think that the ‘safe starches’ debacle is great and for so many out there that really struggle with super low carb as I have in the past when going to low it’s great to experiment to find what works .  When I have my carbs too high (up over 100gms) I start craving all sorts of crappy food and I feel like I’m a heroin addict looking for my next fix! I think for me that there is a chemical reaction with these kinds of foods that send me on a downward spiral.

Mostly what I’ve learnt is that I don’t do well with moderation of any kind and I’m coming to a place of peace with that.  I cannot eat just one biscuit, I eat several, I cannot eat just one piece of pizza, I’ll eat the lot! And I cannot for the life of me just eat one potato, I will eat more than a person should!  I have trialed this on so many occasions that I’ve just had to realize potatoes might have to take a back seat even though they are my favourite thing to eat! Sigh!

So where am I right now? When I started my journey back in October 2008 I weighed 107.1kgs.  I lost 42kgs initially and got down to 65kgs (bikini picture on my blog), then I stabilized at 69kgs where I have stayed relatively stable for 4 years now (the last 6 months or so I haven’t weighed).  I broke my non weighing rule today after feeling like I needed a bit of a wakeup call! I was a bit gutted to see that I’ve gained back 6kgs from my stabilized weight so I’m now weighing 75kgs (as pictured to the right below).  I'm feeling pretty brave to be sharing this, I could just hide and not be honest?!! but the whole reason I started this blog was to have accountability, so here it is even though it feels somewhat scary this time around. Maybe it's because I have so many more followers than I used to!I’m not going to dwell on this but I need an action plan! 

So where to from here? Back to basics, back to what I know best and that is 80/20 Primal, not 50/50! I know that it works for me and it feels completely natural.  What else it means is no more trying to kid myself that I can do Moderation! It might work for you but it sure as hell doesn't work for me!

Angela loses 53kgs!!!

Angela's story:

The before picture was taken in November 2010, just a couple of weeks before i started my weight loss journey. At the time I weighed 134kg and my health was starting to suffer, I was constantly tired and my legs ached by the end of the day. I couldn't walk far and i felt really sluggish. I went to see my doctor for an unrelated matter to my weight and he said "You are a ticking time bomb". It was that one sentence that started my weight loss journey. I went home and decided I HAD to make changes or face major health problems. I started by joining Configure Express Gym, I started to eat good healthy unprocessed foods, no more grains for me!
Straight away I started to feel fantastic, my energy increased, my aches and pains went away and my sleep improved. To date I have lost 53 kilos (114 pounds), it has taken me 18 months, I still have a bit more to go until I'm satisfied but i finally feel happy and healthy!

Hasn't she done amazing, I have personally met Angela as she lives in my hometown also. She's an amazing lady and I'm so proud of her transformation, I hope that this story inspires you! Please feel free to leave comments, I know she will read them and will be happy to answer any questions.

Change in my face!

I was flicking through some old photos last night, I had to share the huge change in my face, it's not always about the body! My eyes were being swallowed by the fat and I could barely crack a smile :( That was in 2008, fast forward four years which you all know the history and if not feel free to read my story here: http://primaljourney.blogspot.co.nz/p/before-and-after.html

I don't think I've ever smiled so much in my life as I do right now, the braces are also making a huge difference to my confidence and they aren't even off yet!  I saw my dentist the other week and all is going well, the top should be off just before Christmas and the bottom in February 2013.  The changes have been huge, I no longer grind my teeth, I can breathe through my nose and my jaw shape has changed quite a lot, almost like a mini facelift not to mention how much more I'm smiling now!  It's been tough, painful and has cost me a small fortune ;) Worth all the pain and every penny spent!

Food snaps and why my scale is gone!

Just a general update guys! I hope that you are all still enjoying my blog.  I get a little bored sometimes constantly blogging about what I eat but I always get a lot of emails telling me how helpful it is so that's why I do it.

For any of you scale addicts out there please check this out: http://everydaypaleo.com/2011/06/22/attention-scale-addicts-part-2/

I haven't weighed on the scale for a long time now, I don't track my progress that way anymore, it's a far cry from the woman I used to be who was a little obsessed with the scale.  I still can't believe that I've managed to ditch it and I feel far healthier for it.

I'm happy with the the size I am, I'm much more focused with toning my body, I was giving the scale too much power and it was dictating how I was feeling each day, now I just measure every few weeks and my clothes will tell me pretty fast if I'm not reaching my goals, I wear jeans almost daily so I'd know very fast.

I'm back into weight training and loving it, doing some personal training with my Pilates instructor and enjoying every minute of it, I do love the feeling of sore muscles and I'm feeling really healthy.  Here's a few snaps of my food, I update on Facebook more than on here as it's faster so be sure you head over and like my page if you want updates on my food and motivation etc...https://www.facebook.com/PrimalJourney

How you know when you have it dialled in?

The best thing about finally finding something that works for you is you stop searching for answers.  For me Primal works and I’m eternally grateful to Mark Sisson for all of his work in creating The Primal Blueprint, Primal is now my life and I would never consider going back to how I used to eat over 4 years ago.  

Because I’ve dropped such a huge amount of weight and kept it off for several years...I’ve stopped looking for other answers, yes I still have a few kilos I’d like to lose but I know that I can do it following primal, I just need to dial it back in again and stop having the indulgences that have crept back in.   

I will never be on the constant search for the next ‘diet’, it’s such a freeing feeling!

One of the biggest things I’ve noticed is that I don’t buy health magazines anymore, and I don’t skip to the ‘nutrition’ part of any of the other trashy magazines like I once did.

Check out the covers of just a handful of some of my old magazines...

‘Our new miracle diet'

‘Little health tweaks BIG RESULTS!'

'Bikini Body Now!'

‘Drop 10 lbs in a week!’
‘Get toned arms fast’

 

The one thing these all have in common is big promises! 

I’m guilty of buying these magazines and thinking that this ‘diet’ will be different and will work.  They never did and it wasn’t until I found Primal that I ‘got it’, I understand how my body works and I don’t need to be trying different diets anymore.

Diets don’t always fail, people fail.  Harsh but true.  What you need to find is something that you can stick with and make those changes for life.  Losing weight shouldn’t be about deprivation, I’ve never felt deprived or ravenously hungry while losing weight.  Sure I’d love to go and have a pizza and still lose weight but that just simply isn’t going to ever happen. Until you can understand this you’ll probably be stuck on the mouse wheel.

I don’t need to buy any of these magazines for the health tips because I have found what works for me, so why would I need to try anything else?

“10 superfoods you can try today!” – No thanks I’m Primal.

I know how to lose body fat, get fit and be healthy, I have the answers and I know exactly how to dial it in.  The question is...”How badly to you want it?