Saturday, April 5, 2014
Happiness comes from within. It doesn't come from a number on the scale or the size of your clothes or having a flat stomach, a thigh gap or a "perfect" derrière.
I have been every scale number between 54kgs-107kgs and every size from a NZ6-NZ22 over the span of 10 years. Today I sit at 69-70kgs and a size NZ10-12 and I have been here for almost 5 years. I feel my body has reached its happy place, while it's a higher "number" or "size" than what my so called ideal is (or was) I can truly say I love my body in its entirety with all my physical imperfections, because I am beautiful the way I am today.
I've never had the desire to achieve a flawless body because I know that I couldn't achieve that without going to a place of crazy (for me anyway). But I am letting go of wishing for my perfect body...why?
Because I got tired of waking up everyday and deciding how happy I was based on the scale number. I got tired of my life revolving around making a perfect food choice. Most of all I got tired of attaching my self worth to what I looked like. We live in a world that is so obsessed with how we should look.
Health to me now is finding balance. It's moving my body everyday and doing something I love, not exercising in a punishing way or trying to "burn calories". It's eating food that nourishes me and that I enjoy, not just focusing on macros. Food that makes me feel good!
The more you love and respect your body and find happiness with where your body is right now the more you will want to take care of it.
Be thankful for your whole body and appreciate what your body can do. You are not flawed so give yourself permission to be happy with yourself no matter where you are on your journey. If you think that waiting until you reach a perfect "weight" or "size" until you can be happy you will be sadly disappointed because your goals will always shift and it will never end if you can't accept and love your body right now.
What I will say is that I have to work on this mindset daily, happiness and self-worth isn't something you can buy. Everyday I visualise a healthy body/mind relationship and over time it is happening. I didn't just wake up one day and everything changed, no, this has been in the making for a long time now.
Think about all the amazing qualities you have, think of your character. You don't love your best friend or your mum because of they way they look. Give yourself the same love that you have for others.
Losing weight isn’t going to make your life better if your only goal is to lose weight. Instead focus of the feeling of being healthy and nourishing your body and mind with the things that you love, the things that bring joy to your life. Surround yourself with positive people.
Don't only work hard to change your body but work hard at loving yourself, the two can co-exist. It takes time, practice little steps towards loving yourself a little more everyday.
I'm challenging the ideals us women have about always wanting to "look different", when does it stop?
Challenge yourself! Imagine living in a body that each day you wake up and truly love yourself, how would that feel?