Being Healthy

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

I want to thank you all for my lovely comments about my recent picture, I do feel very blown away! I'm very proud of myself and I’ve been thinking lately about what this weight loss and health journey means to me and what I want to achieve. I started this blog as a way to have an outlet about my weight loss and health so I don’t drive my family and friends crazy.

So I have noticed lately I am getting a little fixated on the numbers and not so much on how I feel. I want to change this and not concentrate on achieving a certain weight or size. I definitely want to look great and feel comfortable in my skin and my jeans.
I’ve always hated those pity stares…as if to say ‘oh if only she lost that weight how hot she would be’. I'm guilty of doing this to others! I guess my main motivator was vanity but following closely was also my health. When I was over 100kgs things were starting to get difficult, even going for a walk was hard in all honesty, I hated that I couldn’t hoist myself up on the kitchen bench while having one of those kitchen conversations.

So my goal is to be healthy at the weight my body arrives at, having some muscle show through, I want to be able to keep up with my friends on a bike ride, I want to sit on the floor with my legs crossed and not worry about constantly moving my clothing to try and disguise the fat, I want to fit easily into booths at cafes, I want to feel comfortable after I’ve eaten and not get horizontal or have reflux pain, I want to be able to do some exercise and not feel like I’m going to die, I don’t want panic attacks which were so constant because I was so out of balance, and I want to live a long healthy life. These things are MOST important to me.

Reading the Primal Blueprint has actually been really great in helping me reassess my goals and what I want. Since I’m working from home it’s too easy to not do any exercise and since the way I eat is allowing me to drop considerable body fat it’s easy to be lazy. I do have a bit of a lazy nature when it comes to exercise. This is one of the main reasons I joined the gym, I needed somewhere I can go and have me time and create that wonderful feeling I get from working out.

DH and I have discussed my obsessive nature when it comes to weight, the last time I embarked on a weight loss journey was when I was 21 and I slimmed down to 55kgs and boy was that number important to me. I looked great in clothing but in a bikini I was skinny-fat, so I got obsessive, thinking I needed to lose more weight which was not the problem obviously. I kind of gave up trying to look so good and eventually all the weight crept back on and then some. This time I have agreed that he can tell me if I start to get like that again, naturally it’s a concern of mine. I do feel a whole lot different this time, I am making much better food choices and I feel so in tune with my body, whereas last time I simply didn’t listen to my body and just aimed solely for weight loss.

Don't get me wrong I still plan on looking wonderful at the beach and not feel like I have a fat suit on, which is how I felt last year. DH is a surfer and a water baby so naturally we go to the beach a lot in summer. My way of getting there is about being healthy and not so fixated on the scale because I can see it would be easy for me to get obsessive about it again, losing weight on the scale is very addictive and I don’t want to get to that bad place again.

So with all that in mind I will still be keeping track of my progress but in a more moderated fashion. I am not going to weigh myself anymore than once a week period! I feel this is the only way to protect myself from getting obsessive again, last time I lost the weight I would sometimes weigh several times a day! Measurements will be another form of my progress, as will the clothes I wear and the mirror. I do think it’s important to know how my progress is going, and I have to set goals but I will be forming a much better relationship with myself.

I’d love to know how you feel about yourself, do you want to be a certain ‘weight’ or ‘size’ or are you striving to be healthy and feel great about yourself?


  1. I'm definitely striving to be healthy which is why I wouldn't go back to Weight Watchers even if it meant losing more weight in a quicker manner. And, while I definitely want to lose weight, I'm not too unhappy with the way I am now, but who doesn't want to strive for better?

    It probably is better to weigh only once a week (I'm not able-too addicted to the scale), expecially since there may be a time when the losses do not come as easily.

    Keep up the great work. It so motivating to see your process!

  2. Hey - just found your blog! It's great to see other PB followers success =)
    I think its most important,like you've said, to get to a point where you feel content.
    I have the same problem with being obsessive, and that got me to a really bleak point. My new attitude is just to stop unnecessarily stressing over weight. To realize that there will be fluctuations, but on the same token that I'm much happier and healthier than ever before.
    That said, I've found the most important thing is to reflect back on how far I've come! That nixes obsessive thoughts in their tracks at times.

    Thanks for sharing =) looking forward to future posts.

  3. i agree about weight. i've seen so many cases of people who start exercising while dieting and IFing who shrink, but dont move much on the scale. its a recomposition thing. i really dont care what i weigh, as long as i get leaner, and stronger. i threw my scale out since it was a bully, telling me when to be happy and when to be sad. since i carb cycle from time to time, my water fluctuate wildly, not a good idea to hop on the scale.

    one idea to remember is , IFing amps up protein synthesis, some studies say triple fold, so dont be amazed if you dont get nice and fit combining a bit of fasting with working out! thanks for a great post!

  4. Primal Mama - I think it's great to want to always strive for better otherwise we would never move forward. Man I remember weight watchers, it was soo hard and I was always hungry.

    Raspberry Twist - Welcome, nice to have your comment :) Your blog is awesome! I do have to remind myself of how far i've come and it always makes me feel better.

    rachel421 - I feel that since I've lowered my weight substantially I think it's really important to exercise and I'm so amped about gradually changing my body composition. Thanks for the heads up :)


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